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Do you love a quickie?

Oh, you say, you mean hot, sweaty sex with my man? Down and dirty and do-it-to-me before the kids come home or my mother calls back. (God help me if she tracks the GPS on my cell phone to the bedroom).

No…not exactly.

I mean quickie shorts.

Oh, you say again, you mean the shorts that cut into my butt crack that I haven’t been able to zip up since high school?

No…still not right.

I mean a quick fix for what ails you.

Oh, you say, trying again, biting on a hangnail, you mean a mocha cookie crumble frappuccino®?

No…but you’re making me crazy for a quick trip to Starbucks after I finish writing this blog, so I’ll make it short.

As in Short Story.

Today is International Short Story Day. According to their website: “On the shortest night of the year, June 20th 2012, writers, readers and publishers are again joining forces to celebrate the short story on International Short Story Day.”

To celebrate, I’ve listed my erotic short story “Breaking the Rules” as FREE on Amazon Kindle.

Elaine is a rules-kind-of-girl, whether it’s at work or in the bedroom. She sets out on a journey of self-discovery when she meets the Hunter, who shows her that rules are made to be broken.

This erotic short story is about a working girl who learns you have to ask for what you want.

At work…or in bed.

Excerpt:

He whispered in her ear what he wanted her to do, and it was naughty, so naughty. In response, she pushed her pussy up toward him in rhythmic thrusts, allowing her to get lost in the moment. Elaine didn’t care what happened as long as he continued to rub her hard bud glowing deep within her. The sensations were almost more than she could bear, her body swaying back and forth, reeling with the sublime pleasure this man gave her.

“Oh, it feels good, so good,” she moaned.

“Do you want me to keep going, Elaine?” asked the Hunter, slowing down. The burning flame inside her started to ebb…flicker. “I can stop, if you’re uncomfortable.”

She froze. No, he couldn’t do that to her. He couldn’t! Not when she was experiencing such delicious sensations.

“I–I…” she sputtered. Nothing more came out.

Say it, girl! Tell him you want him to keep going.

But she couldn’t.

For all her bravado, Elaine couldn’t ask for what she wanted.

Writing a short story is an art, like making a soufflé or perfect scrambled eggs or giving your man oral sex that drives him crazy. Here are some short story writers whose works are timeless: 

Edgar Allan Poe, who wrote sixty-five short stories, including The Pit and the Pendulum; O. Henry’s witty shorts, including The Last Leaf; F. Scott Fitzgerald, who coined the term the Jazz Age; Dorothy Parker’s timeless lament of every single girl, The Telephone Call; and my personal fave, Anita Loos, whose Gentleman Prefer Blondes began as a series of short stories in Harper’s Bazaar with a naughty chick heroine named Lorelei Lee.

So the next time you want a quickie, let your fingers do the work (and his, too, if you’re into that while you’re reading), and download a short story.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I hear there’s a frappuccino® with my name on it waiting for me…

Ciao and happy reading!

Click here to get your FREE download of my erotic short story, “Breaking the Rules,” on Amazon Kindle.

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My Harlequin Italian publisher HARMONY is turning 30!

I was very excited when my Italian editor, Alessandra Bazardi, asked me to record a special Happy 30th Birthday to Harmony to my Italian readers.

All of my Spice books have been translated into Italian, so this was really cool.

Here is my video! I hope you enjoy it.

Happy 30th Birthday to Harmony Italy (Harlequin) from Jina

Best,
Jina

(PS — the Italian titles follow the names of my novels:)

The Blonde Samurai “She embraced the way of the warrior. Two swords. Two loves.” Bionda Samurai

Jina Bacarr is also the author of The Blonde Geisha Passioni di una Geisha

Cleopatra’s Perfume Il Profumo del peccato

Naughty Paris Trasgressione Scarlatta

Spies, Lies & Naked Thighs Bionda Vendetta

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by Evelyn Q. Darling
Romance Reporter At Large

How well do you know your hero? Is he tall, dark and handsome? Okay, so you don’t want a cookie-cutter hero, but have you really thought about what questions to ask him?

(When you can take your eyes away from his sexy grin among other parts of his anatomy.)

This reporter recently interviewed heroines for a romance gig and got some very interesting answers.

Now, it’s your hero’s turn. Ready, ladies? Start your engines…

Here are my 5 Job Tips for a great romance novel hero interview:

1. Don’t ask him to take off his shirt. Tempting, yes, as you check out his muscular arms, but this is a sexist attitude that will get you nowhere. (But oh the fun you’ll have trying!)

2. Schedule the interview in a locale where you’ll both feel comfortable. Not in a sports bar where he can eyeball the basketball scores and the waitresses with the deep cleavage. Forget tea shops that serve lemon dainties, unless you’re writing a regency and you want to see if he exudes the proper Mr. Darcy-isms.

3. Ask him to show you his…wheels. Yes, I said, wheels. Is he a Harley guy? Jaguar? Or does he drive an old pickup? Does he keep half his “stuff” in his car? Or is he a neatnik? You can tell a lot about a man by his…wheels.

4. What’s his day job? Or if he’s into night work (and what hard-working vampire isn’t?), you’ll want to make sure he’s a good match for your heroine. If she’s a lawyer, a police detective can make her life hectic; if she runs a cake and bake shop, how about interviewing a land developer who wants to tear down her vintage cottage shop? And let’s not forget the city gal who’s just aching to meet up with a real cowboy. Just make sure he can ride…a horse.

5. And finally, don’t ask him if he’s a good kisser. Tell him to show you.

Evelyn is the alter-ego of Jina Bacarr, The Blonde Samurai: “She embraced the way of the warrior. Two swords. Two loves.”

Jina is also the author of The Blonde Geisha ,Cleopatra’s Perfume, Naughty Paris, Tokyo Rendezvous, a Spice Brief, and Spies, Lies & Naked Thighs

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by Evelyn Q. Darling
Romance Reporter At Large

This reporter was dashing here and there yesterday from one errand to another when disaster struck at my local market. You can’t lug around a big ole purse and not expect the inevitable not to happen.

The strap broke.

Out went my entire life, spread across the dirty linoleum like a social networking nightmare. Notes, lipsticks, coins, cell phone…everything fell out. Junk I haven’t seen for months (years?) went flying from one end of the floor to the other. You’d think someone had just broken a piñata the way the clerks came running to my assistance.

Which made me wonder: what does a contemporary romance heroine carry in her purse?

Or to take it a one step further: what three things can’t she live without?

This reporter says a cell phone, credit card and lipstick.

And if you’re writing erotic, condoms.

But remember, we said only three items. Makes it more difficult. Here’s the deal: You can’t eliminate the condoms–safe sex rocks!–so if you were writing a contemporary erotic romance, what item would you eliminate–the cell phone, the credit card or the lipstick?

And why?

Think about it. Then read my answer below.

================

This reporter would keep the cell phone and credit card and eliminate the lipstick, then I would use the credit card to buy a new, red-hot lipstick!

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By Evelyn Q. Darling
Romance Reporter At Large

February is National Snack Food Month. From greasy potato chips to chocolaty M&M’s, we all love snacks, which makes this reporter wonder: What does a romance heroine snack on between the sheets?

(I know what you’re thinking, but this reporter is not going there.)

You can’t ignore it. Snackin’ is a way of life in the 21st century with snack sales going over the $60 billion mark annually. Yes, that was B as in billion. (Who eats all those Doritos anyway?)

So this reporter was wondering (while she was snacking on peanut butter cookies), what heroines in various romance genres might be inclined to snack on. Think about it: what you give your heroine to snack on today would be different than in the Victorian era.

Crumpets (soft and spongy) dripping with honey were all the rage back in the late 19th century, served with afternoon tea and milk, while a hip modern heroine might snack on a vanilla yogurt parfait topped with granola. (Victorian heroines didn’t worry about calorie overload. They could always cinch in their corset an extra inch or two. A modern heroine doesn’t have that luxury.)

Or if your heroine is a vampire, blood oranges.

How ‘bout a zombie heroine? Zilch, nada. (What do zombies eat anyway?)

If you’re writing a romantic comedy, why not have your heroine throw caution to the wind and indulge in tortilla chips with spicy salsa or gourmet popcorn with real butter.

If your heroine’s a gun-packin’ mama, how ‘bout Snickers and black licorice sticks for fast, on-the-go snacks that she can sink her teeth into while she chasing after the bad guys.

Steampunk? You must have black tea for that British feel, then add red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese frosting for a touch of fantasy.

And finally, erotic. (You thought I forgot?) Bananas, baby. Big, long, juicy bananas.

Need I say more?

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Meet EVELYN Q. DARLING, Romance Reporter at Large, in her first blog today:

In the past, creating a job for a romantic heroine usually meant she was either a governess, a nurse, or in the early twentieth century, a “typewriter,” better known as a secretary.

Take a letter, Miss Jones…

To all writers of romance novels.

Dear Miss, Ms. or Madam:

It has come to this reporter’s attention that several of you have veered away from writing about governesses in dark, gloomy manor houses and pert, red-cheeked nurses and turned to writing about heroines who carry guns, sport black leather and can take a man down in fifty seconds flat.

Really.

What happened to the days when all a heroine had to do to get her man was flutter her black lace fan and bat her soot-caked eyelashes? (Ample cleavage didn’t hurt either.)

It was so much easier when all a writer had to worry about was how many flounces graced her heroine’s gown or the number of hooks on a corset. (A heroine’s age at marriage also determined the size of her waist: if she wed at 18, she aspired that her waist remained at 18 inches.)

And if all else failed, there was always the “smart” heroine who wrote novels, solved mysteries or planted her delicate boots on foreign soil and showed her moxie by becoming a globe-trotting adventuress.

Sigh. Ah, for the good ole days before our heroines decided they wanted equal rights between the sheets. And on the job.

Now to create the modern heroine, a romance writer has to know the difference between a Glock and a Sig Sauer (the latter sounds like a deli sandwich).

Be able to “street speak” in urban fantasies, suck blood without smudging her lipstick in vampire thrillers and shape-shift into an exotic creature with all her parts intact.

So I’m asking all you romance writers to drop me a line and tell me what “dangerous professions” for a heroine you’ve seen in recent novels or in a novel you’re writing.

What’s new for a heroine in the 21st century in the world of “9 to 5” that you haven’t seen or written about before?

I’ll be eagerly awaiting your answers.

Who knows?

Maybe we can start a new trend: Dangerous heroines in tight corsets and red high heels who live in an abandoned subway tunnel and belong to a secret society of lusty Victorian vampires who feed on handsome firefighters.

Then again, maybe not.

 Best regards,

 Evelyn Q. Darling

Romance Reporter At Large

Artwork by Jina Bacarr

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Welcome to A Naughty Christmas Carol, a holiday story video told with pictures and words.

The idea for the story came from the heroine in my Harlequin Spice novel, The Blonde Samurai, nominated for a Romantic Times Reviewers Choice Award. The Blonde Samurai is the story of Katie O’Roarke, an Irish American heiress who goes to Victorian London to wed a British lord.

It’s 1873 and Katie O’Roarke is headed to Japan as a virgin bride after marrying Lord Carlton. There she falls in love with a handsome samurai, but not before she spent a Season in London, far from the woods of her Pennsylvania home. As Lady Carlton, she was privy to the comings and goings of the British aristocracy and their fascinating and often incorrigible mores.

Here is one such story she heard whispered in Mayfair drawing rooms, a holiday tale called A Naughty Christmas Carol.    

In Episode 1, we meet Sir Harry,” though that is not his real name, as a young man. It’s Christmas Eve and he’s being very disagreeable with Lady Florentine, the gentlewoman who loves him, and his mistress, Nellie Rose, a fine lass whose mum is sick, as he makes his way to Madame Moiret’s bawdy establishment on York Street…

Join me next week for EPISODE 2 of: 

“A NAUGHTY CHRISTMAS CAROL”

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