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by Evelyn Q. Darling
Romance Reporter At Large
 
Mirror, mirror on the wall…who is the fairest princess of all?
Why, Kate Middleton, of course.

All eyes are on the lovely Kate as she weds Prince William with single girls all over the world wishing they were in her shoes.

And that they could give up their 9 to 5 jobs to be a princess.

I mean, it’s not like a princess has to work for a living. It’s all fancy balls and pretty clothes and dashing around with her handsome prince, right?

No more fast trips to the market with a purse full of coupons or emptying your Spam box or cleaning your bathroom.

Imagine lounging around the palace all day, eating chocolate truffles and texting your friends about how you have nothing to do but shop…

Hold it.

As Kate is sure to find out, being a princess is a full-time job.

In past weeks, this reporter has explored how to interview your romance heroine for a job, but what if that job is for a princess?

Just what does a Princess do anyway?
 
Here is a Princess Primer for all you Kate wannabes to have under your pillow when your Prince Charming pops the question:

1. A princess must never forget that her job is service to her people. Duty and compassion are also important. Okay, so that means being nice to everyone you meet, including your mother-in-law, the Queen.

2. Don’t go around the palace snapping photos of the royal family on your cell phone and putting them on your website. Definitely not.

3. When addressing the queen, you say “Ma’am” as in jam. What pet name you call your Prince is between you and him…and remember, palace walls do have ears…

4. You must appear well-groomed and proper at all times. Which means no funky sweats, no sloppy flip-flops and for heaven’s sake, make certain you’ve removed the Royal Nail decals of you and the Prince before the big day.

5. And finally, when the Prince gives you that first official Royal Kiss on the palace balcony, wear smear proof lipstick. No lipstick on the collar for the future King!

And by all means, practice, practice, practice the “royal wave.” You’ll want to have it down perfect when you’re Queen!

Evelyn Q. Darling is the alter ego of Jina Bacarr, author of The Blonde Samurai: “She embraced the way of the warrior. Two swords. Two loves.”

Jina Bacarr is also the author of The Blonde Geisha ,Cleopatra’s Perfume, Naughty Paris, Tokyo Rendezvous, a Spice Brief, and Spies, Lies & Naked Thighs

 

by Evelyn Q. Darling
Romance Reporter At Large

We all remember when Cinderella eased her dainty toes into a slipper made of clear glass. She went from being a commoner with a borrowed gown sewn by clever little mice to a dazzling princess and the happily-ever-after ending we all dream about.

Or was it a stiletto?

It couldn’t have been a ballet flat, could it? What type of shoe do romance heroines wear in the land of fairy tales?

Or better yet, what if the fairy tale is real?

Mmm…this reporter is anxiously awaiting to see what shoes Kate Middleton will wear on her upcoming wedding day when she marries Prince William. Classic white satin pumps would be the elegant choice with princesslike appeal.

But there are so many choices available to this modern-day Cinderella.

What do you think?

I’ve put together some shoe suggestions with the pros and cons:

Stilettos: Kate and William are both tall; she could get away with it, but what will the Queen say? Off with her head?

High-heeled sandals: It’s spring in London, but bare toes for Kate in Westminster Abbey could be a chilly proposition.

Boots: snug, button-up or laced white boots with a curved heel would be very Victorian and flirty–and definitely wouldn’t come off Kate’s slender foot. It’s a possibility…

Ballet flats: Cute, comfy and dreamlike. Like a ballet sequence with Kate as the elegant white swan captivating everyone…including her prince.

Sky-high wedgies: Kate is a clever fashionista, but this edgy look may miss the mark with British fashion reporters who like a more upmarket look.

Athletic shoes: no, no, no!

Cleopatra roman sandals: very sexy if Kate gets a great pedicure and fit for a future queen.

Classic satin pumps: Sophisticated lady with “people appeal” like Prince William’s mother, Princess Diana. Kate can’t go wrong here.

Let’s hope that after the ceremony when Kate climbs into the fancy landau royal carriage with the sumptuous red interior, she won’t lose her slipper.

But then it won’t matter, will it?

She’ll already have her Prince Charming…I mean, William.

So, what type of shoes does your romance heroine wear?

Evelyn Q. Darling is the alter ego of Jina Bacarr, author of The Blonde Samurai: “She embraced the way of the warrior. Two swords. Two loves.”

 Jina Bacarr is also the author of The Blonde Geisha ,Cleopatra’s Perfume, Naughty Paris, Tokyo Rendezvous, a Spice Brief, and Spies, Lies & Naked Thighs

ROSSOFUOCO“Fire Red” with ROSE M.J., BACARR JINA, ANDERSEN SUSAN — 3 books in 1 from Harlequin Italy, http://www.eharmony.it/, including my book, Naughty Paris.

My Harlequin Spice time travel about 1889 Paris, “Naughty Paris,” is being re-released in Italy as part of a not-to-be-missed 3-book Special Edition along with novels by M.J. Rose and Susan Andersen.

After being jilted by her fiancé, Autumn Maguire uses her nonrefundable honeymoon tickets to exploreParison her own. Eager to experience the true bohemian lifestyle, she answers an ad for an artist’s model. When she exchanges her clothes for the artist’s lush red cloak, something strange happens…a feeling of intense sensual reawakening overcomes her. Suddenly lightning strikes and through the power of black magic she’s thrust back into…

…the nineteenth century where the scandalous painter Paul Borquet is insisting she become his Titian-haired muse. Between everyone’s strange clothing, the claustrophobic Parisian streets and the overpowering pull of sexual desire, Autumn can’t process…just where the heck is she and how did she get here? And frankly, with Paul’s expert caresses imprinted on her body, does she really care about going back to present day?

Click here to read an excerpt of “Naughty Paris.” (also available as an eBook)

I hope you enjoy my video!

by Evelyn Q. Darling
Romance Reporter At Large

How well do you know your hero? Is he tall, dark and handsome? Okay, so you don’t want a cookie-cutter hero, but have you really thought about what questions to ask him?

(When you can take your eyes away from his sexy grin among other parts of his anatomy.)

This reporter recently interviewed heroines for a romance gig and got some very interesting answers.

Now, it’s your hero’s turn. Ready, ladies? Start your engines…

Here are my 5 Job Tips for a great romance novel hero interview:

1. Don’t ask him to take off his shirt. Tempting, yes, as you check out his muscular arms, but this is a sexist attitude that will get you nowhere. (But oh the fun you’ll have trying!)

2. Schedule the interview in a locale where you’ll both feel comfortable. Not in a sports bar where he can eyeball the basketball scores and the waitresses with the deep cleavage. Forget tea shops that serve lemon dainties, unless you’re writing a regency and you want to see if he exudes the proper Mr. Darcy-isms.

3. Ask him to show you his…wheels. Yes, I said, wheels. Is he a Harley guy? Jaguar? Or does he drive an old pickup? Does he keep half his “stuff” in his car? Or is he a neatnik? You can tell a lot about a man by his…wheels.

4. What’s his day job? Or if he’s into night work (and what hard-working vampire isn’t?), you’ll want to make sure he’s a good match for your heroine. If she’s a lawyer, a police detective can make her life hectic; if she runs a cake and bake shop, how about interviewing a land developer who wants to tear down her vintage cottage shop? And let’s not forget the city gal who’s just aching to meet up with a real cowboy. Just make sure he can ride…a horse.

5. And finally, don’t ask him if he’s a good kisser. Tell him to show you.

Evelyn is the alter-ego of Jina Bacarr, The Blonde Samurai: “She embraced the way of the warrior. Two swords. Two loves.”

Jina is also the author of The Blonde Geisha ,Cleopatra’s Perfume, Naughty Paris, Tokyo Rendezvous, a Spice Brief, and Spies, Lies & Naked Thighs

 

by Evelyn Q. Darling
Romance Reporter At Large

Is your romance novel heroine qualified for the job?

Did you interview her before you started writing? I don’t mean where she went to school, what her favorite color is, etc. but whether or not she’s qualified for the job as a romance novel heroine.

For example, does she have the skills needed to perform her job: Can she shoot a Glock if you’re writing an FBI agent? Lace up a corset if she’s interviewing for the job as a Victorian lady’s maid? 

Or she may be overqualified for the job. For example, she can type faster than you or she has aspirations to leave the romance novel field and get a literary gig.

How long has she been out of work?

Romance novel jobs are hard to get and if it’s been decades since she slipped between the pages of a novel, you might want to reconsider. On the other hand, experience between the sheets is important for every romance heroine.

A typical interview could go like this:

Miss Jones, I’m writing a novel that takes place during the Regency Period. Are you a fan of Jane Austen?

Miss Jones: Jane who? I’m so into Lady Gaga. Love her sunglasses.

Next…

Miss Smith, my next novel is about an FBI agent who’s very physically active to catch the bad guys. Can you drop and do twenty?

Miss Smith: the only thing I dropped was twenty pounds to get this interview.

Let’s try again.

Miss von Rittenhaus, I need a romance novel heroine who sleeps all day and bites all night. Can you list your qualifications to be the vamp queen in my new urban fantasy novel?

Miss von Rittenhaus: Honey, I can snooze and cruise with the best of them. I’ve hit every vamp bar from here to Tampa and let me tell you, no one gets her fangs on better than Lulu.

When can you start?

Miss von Rittenhaus: Tonight. As soon as the sun goes down. (Pause). You haven’t mentioned a benefits package.

What do you mean?

Miss von Rittenhaus: Do I get overtime pay for all this night work? And how about a 401K? I’m not getting any younger and in this economy a girl, I mean vamp, has to look out for herself. What about my e-rights? And health benefits? What if I chip a fang and I have to see a dentist between chapters?

Jeez…Romance heroines…you can’t write with them and you can’t write without them.

This is Evelyn Q. Darling. Till next time when we’ll interview the romance novel hero and see if he’s up for the job.

 Evelyn is the alter-ego of Jina Bacarr, The Blonde Samurai: “She embraced the way of the warrior. Two swords. Two loves.”

Jina is also the author of The Blonde Geisha ,Cleopatra’s Perfume, Naughty Paris, Tokyo Rendezvous, a Spice Brief, and Spies, Lies & Naked Thighs



I decided to dig through my old pix of Ireland and see what I could find for the wearing o’ the green.

No, this wasn’t my mode of transportation in Ireland, but it looks like a fun way to see the countryside!




Anyone for diving off this cliff?



Here are some pretty pix of Ireland taken over various trips…just for the Irish of it!
Next time you put your heroine in a castle, remember to add central heating.
The sign says “Stop Check Point.” This was before the Belfast Agreement was signed…
Happy Patrick’s Day from my

Irish Maid Doll!
 
 
 

 

And in case you missed it last St. Patrick’s Day or you’d like to read it again, here’s the link to my erotic short story: A Naughty Victorian Lady tells the tale of a naughty Irish maid on St. Patrick’s Day
 
 
by Evelyn Q. Darling
Romance Reporter At Large

This reporter was dashing here and there yesterday from one errand to another when disaster struck at my local market. You can’t lug around a big ole purse and not expect the inevitable not to happen.

The strap broke.

Out went my entire life, spread across the dirty linoleum like a social networking nightmare. Notes, lipsticks, coins, cell phone…everything fell out. Junk I haven’t seen for months (years?) went flying from one end of the floor to the other. You’d think someone had just broken a piñata the way the clerks came running to my assistance.

Which made me wonder: what does a contemporary romance heroine carry in her purse?

Or to take it a one step further: what three things can’t she live without?

This reporter says a cell phone, credit card and lipstick.

And if you’re writing erotic, condoms.

But remember, we said only three items. Makes it more difficult. Here’s the deal: You can’t eliminate the condoms–safe sex rocks!–so if you were writing a contemporary erotic romance, what item would you eliminate–the cell phone, the credit card or the lipstick?

And why?

Think about it. Then read my answer below.

================

This reporter would keep the cell phone and credit card and eliminate the lipstick, then I would use the credit card to buy a new, red-hot lipstick!

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